I was always the protector.
So much and so many to always look out for.
Until you walked in.
Now I can lean into my feminine.
How do I just turn off my defenses?
Waiting for the catastrophe to hit.
With you I feel so safe and sound,
I almost just forget.
Your world is a haven that welcomed me with open arms.
Misjudged all intentions, manipulation accusations, all to protect myself from possible harm.
I just want to be soft, gentle and let down my guard.
With you, it's really not all that hard.
I have emotional damage.
I have a lot of ******* baggage.
Didn't realize I held it so close to my side, when I thought i had let go if it all.
Feel like the world is always in flames and I'm the only one that came coax the rain to fall.
How do I let these walls tumble down?
They took so long to build up.
I surrender to the warmth of your shield
But it doesn't feel like giving up. It's just giving in. Letting myself breathe again.
Everyone supposed to keep me safe always failed that task.
Found myself in harms way and when the actions and words didn't match,
I couldn't trust another soul, i just braced myself for the attack.
Scrambling to keep myself safe til i landed safely in your hands.