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Aug 2010
The shadows dividing yesterdays fell down upon today,
from happiness to sadness, against each they do betray.
Borrowed free will, low on spirit isn’t enough to take me through,
careless past was dancing in freedom if only today was too.
Ever reaching for a childhood I hold on so **** tight
to the hopes that wrapped up those fears and got me through the night.
But there’s nothing left to reach for just a stilted grown up reaction,
where multiple masks hide the facts so I lose myself in that distraction.
Too many rhymes to purge the pain and maybe set disenchantment free,
to arrive today, sight still blurred but not buried by debris.
Remembering simple illusions bonded with post traumatic stress,
provoked contradictory reactions when untangling the mess.
To rewind the clock and polish the dust wont take me to contentment,
just cut me open and deepen the wounds then bring me more resentment!
Decaying memories, twisted by time prey on any random second,
that sometimes even looking back doesn’t need to be beckoned.
Still, I look behind in the hope that I can breathe in just the thought,
at the wreckage of my time so far and all the battles that I fought.
Take some answers from the past and tie them with tomorrow,
to create a new chapter of equilibrium where I never need to borrow.
But I know myself and how I play, I need the black to colour the white,
the sorrow always grounds my smiles and  I can revel in the fight.
I write it all regardless of pain or which one is the lethal dose,
timeless in my quest to destiny, I’ll spend it chasing ghosts.
© Catherine Edgar, 2010
Written by
Catherine Edgar
2.0k
     Kendal Anne and D Conors
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