I don't know how to love you anymore.
Is it love if it feels like obligation?
I don't know how to share things with you now.
So I let you create stories with your imagination.
I keep my failures and success on a shelf.
It's a way for me to keep protecting myself.
You knowing anything feels far too vulnerable for me.
Cuz you have a history of using it all against me.
You lean on me when I've never been that sturdy.
I've told you before but you never really heard me.
You tell me you admire my independence.
I react to your admiration with defense.
Cuz you never really listened and if you did,
You'd know what a lonely road it's been.
I know you never received the love you desire.
I sympathize for you, but that sympathy grows tired.
Because you could've changed the cycle with me.
Instead you repeated history.
I don't want to carry this resentment anymore.
But I also can't seem to leave it on the floor.
Believe me I have tried, but it's always by my side.
I cannot forgive something you were never sorry for.
I needed a protector.