You used to be my best friend,
now its like i never existed.
You used to be my best friend,
now its like you never existed.

You ran when i needed you most
Thanks for the help dad
Do you sleep peacefully?
Is there any guilt or remorse when you think of me?

do you even realize
what you did to me
when the personal creator
who birthed me
Tragically departed the earth early
only two weeks after turning 18.
You were nowhere to been seen
searching for your teen.
Her heart she let open bleed
at that fateful scene.

But if you're wondering,
Im alve and occupied,
attempting to mend these shattered pieces of mine

How could you abandon
our bond and memories so easily
Didnt even say sorry,
you still don't try to get ahold of me.

a sweet young girl
taking on a new lonely world.
Youd be proud to know,
i conquered it great
with no supports and did what it takes
to adapt, grow up and outlast.
I've matured too fast.

i forgive as a daughter
but as a parent
i can never understand
you are not a man

I forgive as a daughter
but as a father
I will never understand
abandonment as your plan
thus forfeiting being a man.

Grieving you,
but your not dead.
Your lost in your head.
18 was supposed to be when my life started
not grieving a mother
and wondering what happened to my father

i will always wonder.
Its not fair to me, nor to the men i meet,
that i want them to fill the emptiness in me
that you could easily complete.

All you have do is call me.
Grieving someone who's not even dead,
is an enitrely differnt level of grief itself.

Thanks for the help dad
i try not to be mad
but knowing you choose
drugs over me
livng on the streets
makes me wonder why i'm not good enough.
You don't even have to give that up.
Just wish youd call and say what's up.

I will do me.
You do you.
Youll wish you stayed,
Once i can fully make peace with the truth
I can be the me
that was free
and full of life
before you disrupted my upbringing.

I will rise again
like the phoenix always does.