sitting in a car park
with my father
my legs half dangling out the car
half questioning him
because they were half in the outside world
of his own space

I rebuked all professional qualities
of a schizophrenic

to ask the **** question

why can't I go with mum
to see chris in the mental hospital?
'I've been in mental hospitals before'
'yeah but this is different he exclaimed in a flat tone

And it was because I didn't care about my brother anymore
And about secret guilt, I had the same kind for the rest of my family.
I mean i labelled them my family,
but there was something off about our connection.

Apparantley that's normal though.
but it says in the bible honour thy mother and father

So supposed they haven't honoured me as a child or whatever
Does that still mean, if I'm not going out of my way, which I never was for them, because they weren't for me, that I should still honour them? Yes it does. Amen Lord and Jesus. Thank you.