Fragments of our past
tie together like strings
too long and too old
twisting and wrapping and turning
until they snap
and we're only left with fragments

I wish I'd been braver
maybe then I would have asked
before it was already too late
maybe we could have been more
maybe we would still have
fallen apart
but I wish I was brave enough to know
instead of just being left wondering

Because these "what ifs"
keep me up at night
leaving me crying
without knowing why
alone in a bed
that feels too empty
though I've always been
the only one in it

Is it possible
to miss something
that you've never had
to long so deeply
for a possibility
that it hurts
and you don't know
what to do?

If things had been different
would you still be here
if things had been different
would I still be alone?
If I could just be
anyone but me
then maybe it wouldn't be
so broken

Because that's what is
isn't it?
all my fault
because I couldn't be
what you wanted
so desperate for your approval
but never just enough

I always fell short
and now I've fallen too far
away from you
and everything I had
left alone with nothing
and only this darkness
inside and all around
so thick it's choking me

Would this have happened
if I had just listened
done what you said
and turned off my heart
became what you wanted
me to be
just another shadow
in the dark