I have not often felt so
Acutely alone
As when sitting behind you on a bus
Knowing you have seen me,
And I have seen you
And neither says a thing.

The bus grows crowded and the opportunity,
If there was one to begin with,
Is lost amidst conversations and body heat.
I am left staring at the thick curly hair on the back of your head
Like a math equation.

Part of me wants to reach out and hit you, hard.
I know I won’t get an answer unless I ask,
But I sit quietly and stare
Wondering if you can feel it, too

Yes,
Loneliness is a form of selfishness
I know this yet am unsure of how to combat it

It is in places like this
Crowded busses
Packed with chattering,
Congested sidewalks that are an obstacle course of
Averted eye contact, whether you recognize anyone or not
Because Heaven forbid we start a conversation with a stranger-
No
We have places to be.

“Alone”
itself
is a contradiction
“Alone” is someone sitting in the same room
pointing out their
blatant disregard of you

To be “Lonely” is to have a long,
Drawn out conversation
With yourself