I'm sitting in the doctor's office, bored.
In comes the doctor with a stern face and clipboard.
I sense his graveness and I gulp.
I hope it's nothing, I really hope.
"I'm sorry I should be the one to deliver,
But your diagnosis is - horrible hair forever.
You will be forever adorned with a cowlick.
The sight of the grease will make you sick.
The tangles cannot be undone.
It cannot be cured with a bun.
Even with no humidity, it will be dry.
There is no hair products that you can buy.
Now off you go, I've got you a prescription
For a shower cap, a necessary addition.
Keep your convertible top on.
I give you three years 'til your hair is gone.
I wouldn't wish this on anyone ever -
This horrible hair forever."