The last day of the year, and I paid a visit to show my respects
To attempt to humble my flesh
To give my reflection of a failed man
I
Who designated days of joy saved up from past jobs/relationships
Felt the lightning crash into my soul
Thinking it took the weird from one to half my whole self
I came to the plot
Twisting rose petals into my palm
And sprinkling them at her feet
Asking for forgiveness in a futile plea
I needed someone to speak to, and in this case
Spirits only speak to those who don't come forth weak with intentions
Renditions of "Wash Me" running through my mind
In all white, I delivered a bouquet
A brief say
A respite from desperation, my soul hath claimed
Prayed for her rest, her family's best, and a ceasing of my shameful pain
Hell, at one point, I thought I messed up her name.
Not even nervousness
Just urgently purging in the place where "my mama" 'nem stay
Pennies in her best number
A purple candle and rattle to battle back bad energies
The wind was so telling, that I couldn't even catch my breath
Running from reality
I asked for clarity in love through death.
Ifeanyi N Okoro II © 1/2/2024