i realized i didn't need permission
to move on
or have to wait for forgiviness
when i did nothing wrong
except for being young
and having trust
in people who i should've denied
i spent months
trying to pick the pieces up
dust to dust
until i realized i never really needed your love

i cared for a while
for years
i was stout in denial
and watched my deepest fears
come to life one by one
everyone had their fun
tearing me down at my weakest
like i didn't try hard enough
like i deserved to feel so scuffed
i'd never hurt this much

and i've never felt this bad
or since
it all just tore me right in half
and where were my 'friends'
while i mourned myself
i needed help
you saw the moment as a chance
cleanse yourself
i didn't want anything else
but of course you still brought me hell

and now you hate me
for walking away
i can still hear you complaining
because my existence must have caused you so much pain
remind me again
how i dont know what i said
that i'm awful and deplorable
i forget the rest

i'm ******* glad i left