it has been a while since i've touched pages

for my mind has been busy with the matters of flesh, not of the wind against a face staring at the passing world in its nicer sunsets

i take two akidins every day to survive

my survival linked directly to a happiness craved by my flesh

my flesh that needs to get up, needs to eat

but for you tonight, i opened plath again

my mind, my art, my love, i am reading again

and i felt alive, in my struggle to understand her

and i opened gibran again to see where i left off

where my bookmark of your photo marks my favorite of his prayers

could it have been that i really was alive back then

that i had love, and toil, and music, and words

filling up a mind that understands

a mind now struggling to stare at golden hours

after waking up on dark ones

if only, i keep hoping

if only i was a third of who i was

capable of everything, everywhere, at the same time

knowing what summer clouds sounds like, what paintings smell like, what sleep looked within palpable dreams

could it be, i can return

could it be, a mind that wishes for what once was, can be well once again

could it be, it only takes memory to know where rock bottom is

my love, i missed you dearly
i whisper in solemn prayer

i can love you once again, with music, art, poetry

eye, and ear, and subconscious

i've missed you dearly, and i love you for staying

the day will come that my love for you comes from a complete me

my newest boomark for ariel is an empty biperiden pill page

and gibran will keep your beauty, in page 21

here is to you, and the letters of sanity