The April spring becoming summer
Los Angeles
Our window boil
With the radiant sun
Fresh off the plane from Mexico
Where my red lips were kissed
With such passion.

Words exchanged over
The loneliness of an app
I woke up early just to see you again
As you drive fourteen hours
And I deleted your name from my phone today
Put you on mute
So that I could begin the process
Of assuming
I stained your face with my red lips
And nothing more.

I've been painting into corners wondering
Why can't I just find a good strong clean man
To share this heavy thing called life with
To love me with such tenderness
Me and my kitty cat
And I remember how my world fell apart
This time last year
When we made it Christmas in Chicago.

I release myself from expectation
Disappointment
Fear
Loss
And open my eyes to right now.