the violent extremes
of my feelings
leave me breathless
at peace - in unrelenting moments
explosive - in calmness, unprovoked markers
of pleasantry, or people pleasing

i tackle invasive cruelty
curled into myself with tear streamed cheeks

i fight kindness blindly
and self-berate
riding the waves that i ******* hate

all of this is me
all of the extremes
but i'll hurt myself before
these things
cause others to bleed.