Sep 2013
It's not suicide that's on my mind
It's ****** that sits behind my eyes
That awaits to appear before my pupils
That anticipates the visual through my lenses
That contemplates the bare face without a mask
Violence is on my mind
But is it out of my grasp?
As I sigh, it's testing for me to blink
My eyes envision the scene
Standing over the sink
I'm standing there with myself
Think...
About something else!!!
Rabbits
Cabbage
Sandwich
Guns
****! Where did that come from?
I don't need help
I refuse, because I'm not confused
I need to do this
Momma always told me that wants are just taunts
So I take her words and try to define and categorize my choice
Credible: check
Eligible: check
Inevitable; yes, I have the perfect excuse despite the notion of being rightful
Momma didn't counsel that etcetera
So I don't even think of the sentencing
The authorities aren't as preventing
So they don't know what I'm thinking nor do they know what I'm doing
Until it's done
They might catch me because I will neglect to hide or run
1st degree
My 2nd attempt
My 3rd resort
In this case is my mind my best resource?
If I recourse and explore my feelings
I will still have a passion, maybe to do it in a more gruesome fashion
A murderer's mind is like fish's eyes
Restless
Selfish
(how so when the attention is steady on the potential victim?
Although, but Is this really being considerate?)
I have plenty of lifeless bodies in my psychological attic
One time I got this guy looking spiffy and brought him into the living room where I tried to sit him upright on the sofa
It was a pain in the *** for my brain in the past
I thought about his family more than of him, overall it effected my comfortability at home
So often times I found myself in the basement
Heart racing
Quick movements and fast pacing
Thought I was drawing attention
For revenge to trace it
So I tightly secured my spaces
Kept two firearms adjacent
I think about the things that I do
Thats dreadful enough for comrades to contact taboo
I hope retaliation was only nightmares and don't become déjà vu
Because if that's the case then if I can remember the handle was still lodged into my waist
As gas operates and bolts rotate from the Izhmash make
Majority of the exploded cartridges run stray
I run in between Subway and Chase
Where I can take cover
And aim my muzzle
Before my corpse completely turn into rubble
I was penetrated too well now to move with bustle
Then I suddenly remembered my mother
...
I wanted to stay alive
...
I couldn't cry because I seen this before
Just from the other side
But who cares?
I just wish those men would look me in my eyes
As I would
But they rather witness my demise from a distance
*******!
...
Here I am
Criminal minded
Blinded
From any
Uummmm I don't know
Natural state or thought
But guess what?
Guess who I'm studying while i'm placed in front of the mirror?
Noooo I said guess
...
You'll find out soon enough
...
(Shoulder shrug)
I guess
It's ****** that sits behind my eyes
That awaits to appear before my pupils
That anticipates the visual through my lenses
That contemplates the bare face without a mask
Violence is on my mind
But is it out of my grasp?
As I sigh, it's testing for me to blink
My eyes envision the scene
Standing over the sink
I'm standing there with myself
Think...
About something else!!!
Rabbits
Cabbage
Sandwich
Guns
****! Where did that come from?
I don't need help
I refuse, because I'm not confused
I need to do this
Momma always told me that wants are just taunts
So I take her words and try to define and categorize my choice
Credible: check
Eligible: check
Inevitable; yes, I have the perfect excuse despite the notion of being rightful
Momma didn't counsel that etcetera
So I don't even think of the sentencing
The authorities aren't as preventing
So they don't know what I'm thinking nor do they know what I'm doing
Until it's done
They might catch me because I will neglect to hide or run
1st degree
My 2nd attempt
My 3rd resort
In this case is my mind my best resource?
If I recourse and explore my feelings
I will still have a passion, maybe to do it in a more gruesome fashion
A murderer's mind is like fish's eyes
Restless
Selfish
(how so when the attention is steady on the potential victim?
Although, but Is this really being considerate?)
I have plenty of lifeless bodies in my psychological attic
One time I got this guy looking spiffy and brought him into the living room where I tried to sit him upright on the sofa
It was a pain in the *** for my brain in the past
I thought about his family more than of him, overall it effected my comfortability at home
So often times I found myself in the basement
Heart racing
Quick movements and fast pacing
Thought I was drawing attention
For revenge to trace it
So I tightly secured my spaces
Kept two firearms adjacent
I think about the things that I do
Thats dreadful enough for comrades to contact taboo
I hope retaliation was only nightmares and don't become déjà vu
Because if that's the case then if I can remember the handle was still lodged into my waist
As gas operates and bolts rotate from the Izhmash make
Majority of the exploded cartridges run stray
I run in between Subway and Chase
Where I can take cover
And aim my muzzle
Before my corpse completely turn into rubble
I was penetrated too well now to move with bustle
Then I suddenly remembered my mother
...
I wanted to stay alive
...
I couldn't cry because I seen this before
Just from the other side
But who cares?
I just wish those men would look me in my eyes
As I would
But they rather witness my demise from a distance
*******!
...
Here I am
Criminal minded
Blinded
From any
Uummmm I don't know
Natural state or thought
But guess what?
Guess who I'm studying while i'm placed in front of the mirror?
Noooo I said guess
...
You'll find out soon enough
...
(Shoulder shrug)
I guess
