Valentine's day is looming closer
and I can't wait to be the only one
who doesn't get one of those boxes of chocolate
with all of the assorted flavors to pick through.
I'm looking forward to not be given
one of those teddy bears that are as big
as a seven-year-old going through a growth spurt.
I'm so thrilled to not receive
a cringey Hallmark card
with a "Roses are red" poem hiding inside.
Hell, I'm even happy
to not get a kiss from a lover
or a hug from a friend I've known since elementary.
Valentines day is dumb and disgusting
and the people who celebrate it are just suckers.
Feel free to pass me up Cupid!
I'm totally not jealous...