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Dec 2021
The Boy knows,
yes he knows,
that he shouldn’t.
He can’t hurt an innocent boy.
But the boy with the hair,
the night-dark hair,
who lives across the street
is enchanting.
He’s enchanting in a way,
a funny sort of way,
that makes the Boy wonder,
does he care?
could he care?
would he want to care?
They’re barely even friends
(they’ve barely even talked),
but the Boy wants to know
if the boy across the street
maybe cares.
Not a lot,
just a little bit,
just the right amount
that maybe with some effort
they’d be friends.
And maybe something more---
in time, of course---
yes, time,
lots of time,
lots of work.
But he can’t,
no, he can’t,
the Boy can’t
let another get involved.
He’s not a good Boy;
he’s done lots of bad things,
and he doesn’t want the other
to get hurt.
His guilt is overbearing
from the things that he has done---
small things,
nothing big,
but just enough to make him wonder
if the other boy would stay.
If the other boy found out
about the things that he had done
would he stay
if they managed to be more
than only friends?
And the doubt this creates
is enough for the Boy
to refrain from talking to the boy,
the boy,
with the night-dark hair
and the star-bright eyes,
the enchanting boy
who lives in the house
right across the street.
What a shame it is
when guilt over things---
and such small things!---
should stop
such a lovely pair of boys
from ever meeting,
ever sharing words
past a brief, “Hello!”,
polite greetings in the streets,
and being anything more than
acquaintances.
I dunno what exactly inspired this but partly I was thinking about how sometimes guilt over tiny little things builds up and you feel bad for no reason but now you don't want to hurt others even though you've barely done anything.
Also, this is longer than I expected. Cool.
Ellington Moon
Written by
Ellington Moon  15/Transmasculine/the night sky
(15/Transmasculine/the night sky)   
31
   SUDHANSHU KUMAR
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