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i need it, so bad.
I want to change how others perceive me
fine tune it,
draw a pretty picture for the world to see,
and so I list all my defects -- mental and physical --
certain things about the way I look, think, and act
and their solutions
procedures, drugs, lifestyle changes,
and i work on ticking off every item in the list
yet I do wonder, sometimes
if it'll all be in vain
if, perhaps, happiness lies in acceptance
I'm afraid I'm too brash to accept that fact itself, at least for now.
Instead, I'll keep believing that it lies in the pursuit of perfection,
and I'll keep weaving my cocoon from the world,
for the day I may emerge and be content
maybe even proud
of my metamorphosis
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