you walk away clean,
the victim,
like you didn't absolutely
wreck me,
like you didn't leave me
with a ptsd diagnosis
and mountains of
therapy bills.

you get to pretty
up your tinder profile
like an easy-going
guy with a dog and a plate
of food and who
would ever look at you
and think
my,
what an abusive guy.

while i am still here
wondering why
i can't let go,
why am i always
too hurt to live and
too scared to die.