I want to send you an album. But I can't. I can't ignore the fact the we kissed and let more go unspoken. I hate that if I never said anything, neither would you. I have a paralyzing fear of your silence. I think of that day that I watched your back as you walked down the E hallway and we didn't speak for months. I'm still sorry for that. She sings of the telepathic desert and I feel that. My mouth is dry from the silence. Ten years of words unspoken (and feelings felt). I can always feel you, but will you hear me through the desert? Part of me wants to be screaming, feels like I need to. When I listen to you sing a love song, I try to decode if it's about me because I just wanna know how you really feel. None of them have been about me, so I have to ask, how do you really feel? It's so hard for me to speak because I'm afraid of you taking it the wrong way. Have you kept the walls up because you think I'm waiting? Because you think I'm seeking more? Sometimes I think I'm crazy for even believing there is one there. Is there a wall up? Please, tell me I'm not crazy... Everywhere else I feel so **** grounded, but somehow you still shake the Earth inside of me. Maybe there is a way to understand this cosmically, the way your stars intertwine with mine. What time did you take your first breath? And did I feel it inside of me? Sometimes I think of how sad I'd be if I ever lost you. (Sad is a sick understatement). Sometimes I think of how sad I'd be if I never got to put it all out there. I don't want to grieve something I never said, but I've been grieving these words unspoken to you for years. I always want you to know how much I love you, and that you are a special to me I can not explain. I remember the first time I felt you, sitting in history class sophomore year, you said something so simple. It was the first time you shook the Earth inside of me. I found my sister in the hallway later that day and told her I found my soul mate. I have learned a new definition of that over the years as I have picked up pieces of myself in the souls of many. Something of our souls is made of the same dust. We are like the fireflies, ruled by super natural forces, in perpetual cosmic sync. Our lights will always understand how to shine together, how to find each other in the dark. You and I predate this lifetime, and I guess some stories never finish getting written. But I long to know your side of it, the pages you've burned and the one's you've tucked me away in. I long to know in hopes that we can find ourselves on the same page.