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Aug 2021
Hope at the end of a dark tunnel.  They say feeling hurt is a growing experience.   But when does the hurt stop.

What does hurt actually mean?  Is it being let down,  is it not being seen,  is it not being good enough,  is it a feeling that only surfaced when life is not what you want it to be. Hope is a glimmer shining in the distance.

Hurt comes from letting people in.  Is that wrong or am I supposed to go through life solo.  Hope is that glimmer that letting someone in may change that feeling of I'm not good enough.

Hurt comes from inside me.  Not from someone leaving me because they could not deal with my demons inside. Hope is that hurt decreased and those demons don't surface to others in my life.

It's time I stopped hurting inside.  Blaming that person who took a chance on me is wrong.   There was a side they liked and the Hope is that side over time becomes the full me.  Inside and out.

There is Hope, that shimmering light will come again and I will find someone that sees inside me. That I've changed. That I've taken my demons and turned them into a nice person inside and out. Then that Hope will find me that special someone.  

So I thank you for the hurt I felt when you left. Because now I see why the hurt and the need for Hope.
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