He fought back monsters
With his little black book.
He faced his worst fears
With his little black book.
He conquered the world,
His school and its halls,
Fought for rebellion,
Grew ten feet tall.
He walked up to a bear
And slapped its paw.
Even viewed an "R" rated movie
Down at the mall.
Yeah, Johnny sure lived
The life of them all.
And all thanks
To his little black book.
It made mommy buy flowers,
Instead of drugs by the pound.
It made the house peaceful
When his dad was around.
Instead of a fist
It was a bowl of fruit punch.
Instead of a slap
It was ice cream! For lunch!
Life sure was swell
With that little black book.
'Til one day he came home,
It was nowhere to be found.
He panicked with sweat
As he looked all around.
And all that was heard
Was that quiet sound
Of Johnny crying.
Until he came upon
That fearful sight:
His parents laughing
One fearful night.
And in their hand,
A little black book.
Johnny's heart filled with rage
As they turned the next page.
He ran to the door
And out of his cage
He ran and ran through
Thick fields of sage.
He wept and whaled
Like a singer on stage.
Oh wow oh wow it was
The site of the age!
Until Johnny came to a halt.
If he left without it
It would be his fault.
He needed the little black book
And at any cost.
He stormed through the door
And without being caught
Snatched his book.
And when he thought he was clear
In walks daddy
With case full of beer.
But Johnny sees not beer,
But a case full of cheer!
All with the help
Of that little black book.