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May 2021
Memories of you come to mind
followed by spikes of cortisol,
blood rushes to the surface
of the face you once adored
but you were never alone in your adoration
some men stand back to watch me walk by
as though they’re watching the setting sun,
reminding me that you were just a piece of the puzzle
you hid the others so well that eventually, I forgot to look for them,
I forgot how to think in metaphor,
how to act out of pleasure
instead of moving methodically
one foot in front of the other,
picking the weight in my mind up of the pillow,
just to sink back into my apathy on it again
my life became a clockwork theatre
when I’d solely seek out you
there was no light at the end of my tunnel vision
just you
and your perfumed words
that disguised your true desire;
the lust for control,
the need to own a soul that you never intended to fill.
Amelia Vandergast
Written by
Amelia Vandergast  30/F/Manchester, UK
(30/F/Manchester, UK)   
   Bogdan Dragos
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