maybe i was just hiding behind pride and shiny things,
maybe the shame i hold inside myself was too big to be left unseen,
bright colors and silky clothes, dozens of rings and necklaces, and the swish swish of oversized chains on oversized pants on oversized everything,

all meant to hide the ugly swirls of my hands,
the highest notes of my voice,
the round parts of a body i cant stand to see from your eyes.

or then again
it could just be called surviving.