pick a card,
any card
oh, dear me
you've picked bad luck,
see?
well, you might get a bad parent and severe depression,
but nothing too harmful
at least your family doesn't have alcoholism run through it
it does?
oh.
well uh, at least you ended up with a guarantee
that your parents love you
he doesn't?
oh well, pick another card dear,
maybe this time you'll return victorious.