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Jul 2013
Lately I've been catching myself missing you,
So much. So much that it hurts.
Lately I've been...
Gee, I don't know?
Awful?
Rueful?
Sorrowful?
Dreadful?
Except... I'm not really "full" at all.
I'm nowhere near full.
I'm empty!
It's the same as what came out of my mouth,
When we both said goodbye:
Nothing!
Like that time you'd kept gazing at my lips,
Then my eyes, then back again, and vice versa.
And what came out from the intensity,
Lust, passion, that kept creeping in the room:
Nothing!
Like that time when we were just about to confess
Our oh-so-undying-love for each other.
Okay, maybe it wasn't undying,
And maybe it wasn't love,
And maybe we weren't about to spill out anything,
But you get my gist.
There was nothing spoken between us.
Nothing!
It's the same as that time,
I was sitting uncomfortably at my rooftop,
Staring and loosing myself,
At the sight of the moon and the stars.
Wondering if you're staring
At the same moon and stars, too.
And I'm hoping you are just so I wouldn't feel alone.
Then I think...
Then I remember...
The stupid timezone separating us.
And now I'm back with nothing.

And the worst part?
That wasn't even a "was".
That was the "now."
That is the now.
And every so often,
I catch myself staring at one of those stars.
Whispering to them,
Stories we wrote, stories we created.
Bragging to them,
How great I think you are.
Telling them,
To look over you.
Forcing them,
To watch out for the girl chasing after you.
Wishing upon them,
That I could be the girl you chase after instead.
And it's times like that,
Times like now,
When I have ten things going on in my head
And I'm pretty sure
About nine and a half are about you.
And I sit there,
And I tell them,
I miss you.
I still miss you.
But it's daytime,
And there are no stars,
And there's definitely still no you.

*-djs
From my collection of "I miss you" letters, #1.
Djs
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Djs
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