Wear your pyjamas and stay in your bed
No need for alarm it’s a cold in your head
It’s not the ‘flu and it’s not beri- beri
What you should do is eat and be merry
Resist little germies; take advice from your Mum
Phone up your worky and say you can’t come
Hot lemon and whisky tots flavoured with honey
Loosens your cold and makes you go maudlin
Put on your  music, Bob Dylan is calling
When you are well, he feels kind of sad
When you are sick you agree with your Dad
Bob is the best friend that you ever had
Never wear headphones, annoy next door neighbours
Send your Mum shopping for Lemsip from Savers
After a while you’ll start to enjoy
All the care and fussing you had as a boy
So when the certificate comes to an end
Work is a no-no; a don’t want to go-go
Spots on your face will keep you in bed
Your belly is scarlet; your face is all red
Under the sheets hide a *** and a pen
With luck you won’t have to work ever again