I remember that what I held in my eyes were dreams and stars and in my hands were the pens with six colors and bottle cap shots

Now in my eyes is the pain that came with growing up and in my hands shots to forget

I remember when all the worries were of who had cooties and who had a crush on me

Now its about who wants to **** me and who wants to drug me

It used to be king of the castle and blanket forts

Now it's cigarettes and ***

It was play dates and playgrounds and crayola markers making rainbows on the page

Now it bed sheets and lights off and silver markers that draw red lines on skin like paper

It was coloring inside the lines and playing nice

Now its late assignments and bullying

It was can't wait to see and have a good day

Now it's ******* later and go cut yourself

It was juice boxes and lunchables

Now it's ***** and starving

I miss the old me, when my friends still loved me, when I didn't feel like cutting myself up and drowning my problems in alcohol and pills. I wish I was drunk on my youth not my dads whisky every night.