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Dec 2020
Seven years ago,
that’s when the problems began.
I started self medicating,
with a Tennessee brand.

At the top I had it all,
married with two kids.
I was finally in six figures,
when the **** began to skid.

Love had grown cold,
and became an abyss.
A couple of drinks to ease the stress,
but I felt ice in every kiss.

It became a routine,
when you simply shut down.
The drinks helped me forget,
but they also helped me drown.

Then one day we were strangers,
who were sharing a life.
I didn’t recognize the woman,
who I had asked to be my wife.

Then came the eruption,
and the stones were cast.
The family tore apart,
and WE became past.

Fast forward a year,
and I’m being let go.
The company’s closing,
and I’ve nothing to show.

Then goes the house,
and the car that we owned.
Everything is stripped now,
and I’m down to the bone.

Self medication,
is what helps the pain.
You were cheating the whole time,
and now you’re with what’s his name.

Now the medication,
is what’s causing the pain.
I’m trying to stop,
but I’m stuck in this lane.

Self medication,
self destruction in disguise.
Hospital visits,
simply wanting to die.

Looking back now,
it was a nightmare it seems.
One I couldn’t wake from,
that still haunts my dreams.

I wasn’t an alcoholic,
I had a mental breakdown.
I used the alcohol,
so I could help myself drown.

It took a long time,
and I’m still healing slow.
But hell came to earth,
and I was part of the show.

So forgive yourself,
and try to move on.
Let go of that pain,
and realize that it’s gone.

If you’re trying to forget,
then you’re lying to yourself.
So do yourself a favor,
and put the bottle on the shelf.
Jack Torrance
Written by
Jack Torrance  35/M/Oklahoma
(35/M/Oklahoma)   
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