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Dec 2020
i met this one guy
all he wanted to do
was *****

you wanna know how i knew?
he told me
im not ready for a relationship
with you
except that was silent
because low and behold

he ends in one after a few months
it's not like we stopped
he just stopped talking to you

then after that didn't work
guess who he came running back
just for another *****

back & forth
just hookup calls
but why cuddle me?
why make me feel good
why be there for me
when no one else would

to me, you were just convenient
a walk away
a stride down the side walk
a drive nowhere, cause you were right there

that felt so great
being with you
i felt safe
but when i left
i hated you more than i could imagine
drag your name through the mud
but not to many
just my close few
because i was embarrassed of you

i pranked you
two days later, ran back to you
why forgive me
it's not something i rue
but something i wish i could undue
i want this to end bad
so i can feel sad
just for the ending
so i can have a new beginning

you hurt me either way
& i still caught feelings
when i wasn't supposed to
i'm known for doing stupid stuff
especially things that will make me blue
i want things i can't have
fight over things, that don't want me
and yet, i call myself Key
but i do wonder
why not me?

am i attractive enough  just to ****?
attractive enough to get you your nut
but not attractive enough to be yours
to show off & gloat about & open up doors

when it doesn't come to looks
my personality
is 10/10
you should have been happy
to sleep with an older gal
although, all the time you were a minuteman
true, i'm not mentally stable
but that's the spark
that'll keep the relationship abnormal

you're a gemini
you understand
waking up one day
feeling one way
waking up the next day
feeling another

i want to hate you
but you warned me
you pity me
and i still can't find
a reason to leave you
a reason to block you

i mean i have
just for you to allow me back
you should have left me
the first time
you should have not allowed me in
you knew what i was going through
at least somewhat
was it about hurting my pride?
was it about the lost of my stride?
was it something that still attracted you
to keep me as a pet
until you were ready for something different
something not me
something that was fresh

i can't wait to be strangers
i can't wait to forget your face
i can't wait to forget the safety
i felt with you
i can't wait
until you're a distant memory
one i will never have pride
i can't wait until you're not a reason to cry
i can't wait to remember because of you
i will now have discipline
Juliet Swan
Written by
Juliet Swan  F
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