Anxiety. Shes taken so much from me. I placed her on people And situations. But it was simply her and I, Our voices shaking.
From the beginning, I tried to escape her. But she was so rooted Inside of me. My only release Was to turn it all off And trust the ground In front of me.
Simple things, Simple moments, Became nightmares And real fears To look someone in the eyes And try so hard to feel absolutely nothing
I could say it was the loss I could say it was that night But its not true
On the best day With the best people She tells me I'll never be enough
And I can feel it, I feel her right now. Its the only way she let's herself out I breathe Steadily Unsteady My heart races And slows So that I start to feel sick And you're looking at me Wondering What the hell im thinking And I just want you to see That I'm strong But she's winning As I sink And I plan for her arrival I look for the softest ground to land on I try to inhale the fresh air Until it fills my lungs But the room starts to fade And I know its her time I count to 10 But usually don't make it to 5 And when I wake To faces I've never known They look away and laugh And I just wish I was home. I pick myself up, Dust myself off And fight the urge to explain myself to the people that can't see her.