I am tired. tired of working all of my day away, tired of the give and the give and the give and the never get only to come home to empty cupboards and past due notices.
I am tired of the depression, the anxiety, the scars on my wrist and the ache in my brain. tired of the what ifs and the why nots and the carousel that never stops spinning. tired of feeling like all the tendrils of me are wild animals I will never tame.
tired of being told to grow up, to get over it, to let it go. tired of being loved for the idea of me rather than the person I am, the mess and the mistakes and the broken pieces I have painstakingly put back together. tired of being told that version of me isn't cutting it anymore. tired of being loved on the pedestal, tired of being left on the floor.
tired of being the bad guy when all I am is tired of begging asking, needing, screaming for help. for more. for better. tired of forgiving and never being forgiven.