again you tell me
that you love me
that you’ve always loved me
that we were meant to be

the third time is perhaps
the charm

my legs tremble
when i hear your voice
when you turn over and expose your belly
when you tell me how much you want me

i always forget what happens next
the pattern
the clarity daylight brings to you
and to me
without fail

you tell me what you said the last time
and the time before that
that i shouldn’t feel used
and i don’t know if that’s the word i would have chosen

i ask myself
what i do feel
what drives me to you each time
what pushes me back into this strange and dark dance

is it love?
is it fate?
is this doom or destiny?

do i even believe in such things?

do you?

i have no answers
for you or even for myself

all i know is the pull
you say you feel it too
yet you pull away again
just as you did before

and i know not what to do