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Jul 2020
Trying to overcome the feeling of being numb
Defaulting to indifference has left me acting in defense
Protecting myself from the pain with deflection and novacane min
Has left me with an unbalanced brain, will I ever know love again


I wonder why I seldom cry
Why roses for
Is God alive


Feeling myself run out of time I press rewind and then feel fine but in my mind I'm stressed, depressed, I've tried my best, and now need rest, been killing myself to pass a test, killing myself to press reset, I'm dodging death, with every breath, my heart is frozen, with regrets


My heart is beating like a drum
To feel alive I try to die
This venom enters numbs my tongue
I crave to see through open eyes
To find the truth in ignorance
They blind the youth with negligence
The ancients come and steal my breath
And turn it into excellence
The Golden Light out shines the sun
Catharsis of unspoken words
I feel myself go back in time
And wonder why we have to die
I wonder why the God's are still
As man kills Earth and drinks his fill
Why good men lie why bad men cry
Would all th we answers save my life


I wonder why I seldom cry
Why roses die
Is God alive


Feeling myself run out of time I press rewind and then feel fine but in my mind I'm stressed, depressed, I've tried my best, and now need rest, been killing myself to pass a test, killing myself to press reset, I'm dodging death, with every breath, my heart is frozen, with regrets


Cyclical thinking
Biblical drinking
If I pray to God will I one day feel fine
Or would he neglect a desperation of this kind
As I sink in the waters of my own device
Baptism of the most unfortunate kind
Relentlessly driven to seek the unknown
The words of the truth get stuck in my throat
The world turns to black
Then swiftly to grey
Darkness and light I guess balance is ok
If I had it my way
These lessons would change
I'd hide from the pain
But then in the end there would be nothing to gain


I am a pillar
Ancient and crumbling
Need restoration
Standing for something
Rooted in place
I'm defined by circumference
I am a pillar
I'm standing for something
Falling to nothing
Been bested by time
Clinging to concepts
It's all in my mind

Feeling myself run out of time I press rewind and then feel fine but in my mind I'm stressed, depressed, I've tried my best, and now need rest, been killing myself to pass a test, killing myself to press reset, I'm dodging death, with every breath, my heart is frozen, with regrets, but growth is painful, I accept, and let it go, for peace to set
Written by
Avestani  23/M/Alfheim
(23/M/Alfheim)   
56
 
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