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Jun 2013
I wish I could give you much more-
Than my mouth's every empty sound;
Words; Like long abandoned shell homes.
More than the mere reality of being around.

I wish I could give you more-
Than my body; physical presence.
Than my touch and warm embrace-
Heated in the lust of every past instance.

I wish I could give you more-
Than gifts; my time and attention.
My voice, support, smiles and laughter.
Wish I'd give you my heart's pure affection.

I wish you knew me way before-
The loss of every ounce of love I sought.
Before the space between spaces filled me,
Before the scent of love was eternally forgot.

See, every failed fairy tale-
Robbed my love of its mass;
Left my heart cold, unloving.
Empty, like a sand less hourglass.

Every shattered future-
Taught me how not to love;
To cherish only what's left over,
Fading innocence; everything I have.

Every end of a new beginning-
Curved a beast out of my soul;
A sweet, charming, beautiful beast.
Opposite of what you think you know.

I wish you knew me before-
I could smile and say I love you-
As I whisper praises to the next girl;
Of last night, in bed, how she was beautiful.

I wish you knew me before-
I could hug and hold you tight-
With the very warm arms that will-
Passionately caress your friend at night.

I wish you knew me before-
I knew a forever that comes and goes;
Before the bits of hurt and nurtured lusts;
Before I my pain was of a like nobody knows.

I wish you knew me before-
The pieces of my broken heart-
Spread through my thick, vast past.
So I could love you, whole and not in part.

I really wish you knew me before-
My tears massed into this smiley mask-
That stuck to my visage. Before being nice-
Was merely my poker face, and not a willful task.

But most importantly… I wish you will teach me-
To love you with the void space where my heart was;
To say I love you in silence; with every beat of our heart;
To be one with you; to love with my rights and my flaws.

Keep Smiling
Alexander Brown - Xander
Written by
Alexander Brown - Xander  Lusaka
(Lusaka)   
  3.8k
   Pax, Djs and sassybutsweet
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