the essence of my being is residing
                                                        ­                       somewhere in between
in which i would simultaneously like to be left alone
and hugged tightly as though i were taking my last breath
i want to be held closely and told that i am special
and that i matter
whilst being afraid of ever loving again
                                                           ­                    somewhere in between
a friend and a stranger
dressed in confusion
black cloak
top hat
(you look quite ridiculous)
i am neither happy nor sad
does it even matter?
maybe deadened is the word
deadened
dead end
most of the time
i am merely in my perpetual state of
                                                              ­                 somewhere in between