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Jun 2013
The problem is promises.
Make me none, and I will expect nothing from you.
But promise me something and you'd better not be lying, because if you know I will give you all of me for nothing and still choose to give to me, then I expect you to mean it and I expect you to uphold it.
I don't force promises,
I don't ask for them.
So if you can't keep them, don't make them in the first place.
It's not as if I'll love you any less.
People always try to give give give to the ones who love them.
Good, that means you're grateful.
But I'd rather you mean it, and give not because you think you should but because it makes you happy to.
I want someone who has a realistic view of what they can handle promising me, and of the fact that they should not feel guilty if we're at different levels.
Because guilt leads to trying to make up for it,
And trying to make up for it leads to making promises you can't keep,
And that, in the very end, is the only thing on this earth that someone I love can do to hurt me.
So if I love you,
Accept it, appreciate it,
But don't try to match it unless it comes naturally to you, because it will only end badly.
I don't want lies, I don't want someone who can't handle feeling like I love them well,
I don't want doubt.
Someone somewhere someday will take me just as I am,
And realize without suspicion that I take them just as they are as well.
That person will make me promises, and keep them, and when we part it will be peaceful,
Because no one will have lied or misunderstood.
Everything ends, but not everything burns to ash when it does.

My heart is hungry, you see, but patient.
Beneath, I yearn to be loved as I can love,
With all the intensity and joy and passion that lives in my own heart.
But long ago I recognized that not everyone can or should love me that way,
And so I became very good at restraining my need for affection.
But offer it,
And I will need it.
Give it,
And I will expect it.
That is how I am.
Inside, I need love constantly, so much more of it than I ever get, or probably ever will.
Outwardly, I am strong enough never to demand it, never to ask for it.
But when somebody hands it to me, I need it in a way I can’t control.
Be careful, loving me.
Be cautious.
It’s not a game, loving me. It’s a promise.
A promise to a very deep heart,
That has been very tightly reined
For a very long time.
It takes little for the longing to bloom in my chest,
For comfort,
For affection,
For safety.
Do not toy with it.
Do not enter a love with me lightly.
If I adore you and you don’t return it, I will not shame you- I expect nothing.
But give to me, and you make me a promise that I don’t expect broken.
I give my warnings seriously and frequently, and in the end it is always your choice.
I warn people because once you’re in it, there is no turning back.
It is keep your promise, break it with regrets and respect, or burn our love to the ground.
There is no friendship,
There is no casual,
There is no second chance for you if you break my heart with apathy.
This is a warning, as so many others have come, and it stands to anyone who thinks they could love me.
The warning is that I am serious,
And strong,
And that I have been razed to ash far too many times to trust easily.
So if you find yourself with a piece of my trust,
With a promise to make me or a choice walk away before you can lie,
Tread lightly, think twice.
If you cut and run because you know it’s too much, the worst I will be is disappointed.
But if you stay, if you make me happy and light me up and make a promise that you’ll love me,
You ******* better do it,
Because I don’t say these things for nothing,
And if I’m going to give you love anyway,
I expect the love I get back to be real, or don’t even bother.
It is not the making of a promise that means something,
It is the keeping of one.
Mikaila
Written by
Mikaila
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   --- and qtrz
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