as i type this out, tears fall from my cheek to the laptop
lately, it seems like I can't stop myself from crying
maybe it's all the alcohol running through my bloodstream that supplies the never-ending tears
as i keep typing i realize, i can't remember what it's like to be sober
to be happy
to breathe
this pain may not be physical but it hurts just the same, maybe worse
when all I ever ask for is reciprocation
and maybe that's too much
this lump in my throat followed by a swig of gin makes me feel less and more simultaneously
all i want is to not feel anymore
to be numb
I only have myself to blame
i guess a toxic trait of mine is putting myself into horrific situations
i just can't seem to learn
when will i?
as i continue typing, i realize words don't do anything for me anymore
it's all about action
but maybe that's asking too much.