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May 2020
Flicking through pictures of us and remembering how simpler times and our lives used to be
But then global panic set in and our worlds were in limbo and that was the same for everyone else apparently
I told you to stay home and not worry about me
But you wanted to be a supportive friend and come to my house and check up on me
I should’ve looked at your symptoms more closer and not just said a case of allergies
If I knew that was the last time I’d see you I would’ve hugged you tighter
I would’ve picked us up a bottle of Hennessy and we could’ve talked about how when we were younger we thought the worse thing we’d drink that would burn our throats was room temperature Apple cider
Could’ve rolled us up one and I’d forget mine so we’d have to use your lighter
Then we’d get the munchies and walk down the block to McDonald’s three in the morning and get breakfast and lunch foods because we had bipolar **** induced acquired taste
Sorry I’m just going off tangent to keep tears from falling down my face
I remember our late night conversations and how we both said we didn’t want funerals because we felt they’re a waste
We’d rather have our friends and family throw a celebration party and think back on all the good times as they remember us
But now that you’re gone and our dynamic duo is now a solo dolo
These pills in my left hand look rather death inducing but this razor blade in my right hand also looks like another possible solution to make the world remember us
I could never go through with it though because I’ll always have your voice stuck inside my head
“The **** is you thinking
I’m surprised at you
You been swimming in the murky waters called life for twenty one years and now you take the easy way out and wanna start sinking?
Do you know how many people are looking up and supporting you
All the people from our neighborhood who couldn’t go to college or imagine a better life for themselves are now focused on watching your journey on to success and living their lives through you”
Tough love and tougher advice I needed to hear to get myself back on track
But it doesn’t diminish the fact your no longer here and there’s no chance of you coming back
You really should’ve put yourself first for once and stayed home practicing social distancing and I would’ve never had a reason to write this rap
What am I supposed to do now that my partner in crime is watching over me and hoping I make her proud from time to time?
Keep living life the way I was before and hope and pray I don’t get committed time from our crooked criminal justice system for an uncommitted crime
So much I wanted to say before I hit send on this voicemail that i know you’ll never hear but felt inclined to do that way nobody has room to give you fake love and appreciation for the final time
Last bit of Hennessy left in this bottle from when we were together before i knew it would be the last time
I think I’ll drink it out the bottle with no chaser and let you live through me one final time
For more of my poetry follow me on Instagram @geminitruesdale
Written by
Gemini  21/M/City that never sleeps
(21/M/City that never sleeps)   
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