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May 16
I always wish to say good things
about the people i meet

But honestly i can’t anymore
I’m starting to wonder
is it because of me?
Am i no good?
Do i try so hard because i know,
deep down i’m not?

I’m not sure anymore

They say; you only meet the people
who are a mere reflection of your own thoughts

Reflecting that on me
then everything points to an ugly secret
i’ve maybe been hiding all along

Why keep trying so hard
if it’s not what you see,
feel or experience
from the people around you?

Why believe in the good
if they do not choose
to give those parts to you?

Why keep holding onto
the skinny little parts
they only give
when it serves them well?

Am i then the same?
Do i only share when it serves me?

I like to think not
But as of right now,
I start to see the flaw in my own thoughts

I start to see the defects
in my own trying and trying
to believe in the good
and believing i’m good

I’m nowhere there
to give up yet

But i am here
at a place
where i do not recognize
the good from the bad anymore

They are all combined
entwined, strangled
strangling me

Keeping me hostage in my mind

The good
and the bad
contemplating about me
still being right

I do give up
on everything that is bad
and not mine

This quarantin
can be more of use
more than i’ve tried
so far

So goodbye again
my so called foe’s
and friends
It’s time to let the good rain

Snoring on confetti powder

Smoking up the trees
seeing flower bombs
spreading the love
within me

And see which parts
still need some loving

and which parts
are still hiding
somewhere underneath
you can only know yourself
Written by
     Sk Abdul Aziz and Fawn
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