I'm loosing myself as the days go on
Like i'm holding onto an invisible rope
for dear life

but as the seconds pass
my grip gets weaker and weaker
I try to escape to my mind
but that's the worse place to go.

I criticize every inch of my body
while I tell others
"You're perfect"

I cry into a pillow at night
fearing I'll be a bigger disappointment
than I already am.

I try my best.
I try so **** hard.
but as the moments pass
I free fall through my emotions

Listening to people tell me
"just be happy"
as if it's the easiest thing in the world.

As if it's like walking a dog
but in my mind that dog is rabid
and just wants to tear me to pieces.

I keep smiling and smiling telling people
i'm fine

When in reality i'm lonely
I'm scared of
my thoughts
the future
my emotions.

i'm just scared.

but in the end,
I smile and say
"i'm fine"

as if this disease
wasn't eating my mind like popcorn
from a ******* movie theater.