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Apr 28
They want to give you things
They want to waste time and effort all on you
And all for what?
Temporary enjoyment,
Lasting anywhere from a few minutes
To a few years
Even so -
It's so unnecessary, even wasteful
Of what they work for
What they could use to support themselves
Yet they waste it upon such things
For another
To see them smile
At least every once in a while.

- Jay M
April 28th, 2020
My mom asked me today what I wanted for my birthday. The problem is, I only want to see the people I care about and those that care about me, or maybe to go on a long walk. If not that then maybe camp out in the backyard, or board games with my siblings and parents for a couple of hours, or even just do some karaoke in the living room with my siblings and parents. Just not gifts - it feels like such a waste, because the person giving it to me could have used that money for food for themselves, or clothes, or house projects. But on me? It just seems like such a waste, and I just get this knot in my stomach when I think about it - it just seems wrong, because they had to use their time and effort to earn that money and they just use it on me.

Is it strange to feel this way about such a strange thing? Maybe I'll never know - but in the meantime, I'm hoping I'll just get nothing but kind words and wishes from people instead. ♡
Jay M
Written by
Jay M  15/F/California, USA
(15/F/California, USA)   
130
   Jay M
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