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Apr 2020
mauerbauertraurigkeit- the inexplicable urge to push people away,
even close friends who you really like

i rest my head on your shoulder
as the road carries our dreams
to places we have never seen.
your arms hold me close
as your love cloaks my broken heart.
we sat there in the night
no one spoke so the silence filled the air
even though nothing was said
there were thoughts the floated in the air between us

but how can you love me
without expecting love in return?
knowing that i will just break your heart
leaving myself alone.
i guess i’m just halfway happy
with my heart made of glass
and my mind of stone.
too fragile to touch
and too hard to let in.

“she talks about him
as if he puts the stars in the sky”
the light
making my world.
as bright as the stars.  
but with all this light
you can’t mend my shattered heart.
but oh my love

i don’t know if i like you
or love you
want you
or need you
all i know is that i love the feeling i get
when i’m near you.

but i guess now
you’ve left.
left with your light
left with your stars
left with your l o v e.
and left me alone in the night.
i can’t help but wonder
if it was better to love you
and lose you
or never have loved you at all.
aush g
Written by
aush g  19/F/CA
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