I be talking to myself
and no *****... I don't need no help

I be talking to myself
Asking if I should really order that wine
That I tasted one time

****** Chocolate on my palate
21 in New Orleans
Nostalgia says I gotta have it

I remember it being the 1st red that I fancied
I was looking for ButTer
But this went down so smooth

Just like me
when I be dancing with myself
in my living room
and singing to myself
and being with myself

I used to talk to my friends but now they drunks
I used to talk to men but they always want some
I used to talk to my family but Ion really like them

So I talk to myself about loneliness vs aloneness
We talk about men and they hoein'
I talk bout my family and realize that alot of em aint growin...and then some trauma started showin'

This morning I was in the shower talking to myself...and a memory came to my mind.
Ask me about my childhood and I'd say it was perfectly fine. Not knowing my truth was a lie.
I realized I was touched when I was younger.
It neva clicked, not even when Dr's asked me if I had been.
I didn't know I had been had. It just happened then I forgot. The #MeToo movement neva resonated. Neva thought too much about those distant days. This mourning I was at a loss for words when the veil was lifted. I wasn't angry, it just all made sense.

Cause I saw him last year and had him babysit. I came in late that night, drunk and high. Laid with my son, next to him. Then suddenly I feel his hand in my pants, even then I didn't remember the past. I woke up and thought it was my lover's hand until I saw the room I was in. The room of my brother, my son's uncle, my kin.