I've been feeling quite gray;

this feeling of needing to go away.

Waves of darkness floor over me

like blood on the floor, sinking towards the sea.

I feel stuck in loops

and it doesn't help being surrounded in groups

of people that don't even see me

why can't I be happy?

I've worked so ******* hard

to act like I've won with this hand of cards

but I just keep sinking; sinking into this endless void

of being at the top of the world to being destroyed.



I've been feeling quite black,

because maybe I lack

that certain trait that lets other's move on

instead of being stuck in this cycle of feeling disconnected and gone.

Some days I am fine, and the tides are high

And others it feels like my oceans are dry. Why?

Why can't I feel unless it's my blood on the floor?

Everyday tasks are starting to feel like a chore.

And I'm sitting her, basket in hand, watching pelicans soar

in the vast blue sky as I sit on the shore.

But I can't hear their salty calls

and I can't feel the way the ocean's sound make me fall.

And I can't touch the walls of a nearby cave

without wanting the ocean to be my own grave.



I've been feeling quite white.

And not the one where you life is full of light.

The one that is empty and static;

the one where dust builds up in the attic.

I can't feel when I cry, it's just tears running down

like a tsunami flooding an innocent town.

Except the town is known for the blood it sheds

and these voices sing in the night, do they want me dead?

It is a black and vile canvas covered in something pure

Maybe to mask; maybe to lure.

And all that it does is make people drown

With it's lovely songs filling up mind's around.

So like rain, I drip off this forgotten leaf

Or maybe I'm a liar and thief

Maybe all the colors I once had were stolen from an ocean's reef

So I sink into this sea of blood, hoping to find some relief.