CAR CRASH  04-20-10

I swerve instinctively
As I see the red brake lights in front of me
Too bad, he didn’t see
in time to stop more instantly.

He is dead now.
The front of his Corolla is
Untimely married.
To an 18 wheeler’s back end.
Sorry, friend.

I don’t even know you.
I’m just glad I’m not you.
A human is now turned to ****** goo.
God, I’m glad that was not me, but you.

Wow. That could have been me
One or two seconds, that would’ve been me.
I careen around the grotesque site.
I almost hit a car in the lane to the right.

Why, when my life flashes before my eyes
Is the very same instant I beg not to die?
I’m feeding myself an incredible lie.

My usual mantra is “I want to die!”
“God, please take me, I want to die!
“I hate my life, I want to die!”

But it wasn’t me
It was someone else’s turn to be free.
Free? Of what? Of Life?
Since when did I disvalue my life?

Since when did I start to like my life?
I don’t know, and I’m not sure that’s a true statement
I dream of crashing into side rails all the time.
Go ahead, and just get over this strife called my life.

I look back in my rear view mirror.
Death could not be seen any clearer.

Man, I must rethink who I am
I must take a look at my cavalier stance
To life.
I appreciate life more than I can appreciate
The acceptance of my own.