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Apr 2020
My eyes flick
from the top of my head to my toes
My mind flips insults and
around they go never leaving me alone

My hair a vague pinkish peach color,
I think I like it but then again I also hate it
It really could’ve been cute
if it weren’t on me

My finger tips
pinch, pinch, pinching at my skin
Acne scars
will soon replace the blood stains on my cheeks

Upon close inspection
you’ll see my eyes are red, almost bloodshot
Maybe some sleep could fix this
but I’m much too tired to sleep

My nose is swelling
if I just stopped pick, pick, picking at it
Maybe it would return to normal size
still I attack the blackheads on its tip

My lips are pale
better eating habits lead to better circulation
But my eating habits are just that,
habits I can’t seem to shake

Double chin disguised as skin
tilt, tilt, tilting my head just right
It’s barely visible
until I take a harder look

Small ***** in my genes I suppose
if I wear just the right bra,
Display them just so, and stay still
they still look just as pitiful

Down from arms to elbows
I scratch, scratch, scratch at the skin
Scabs ripped from their constellation spots,
leaving new pits

These hands
seem much too large for me
But still they can’t seem to hold on
to the things that matter the most

I can’t see my ribs
**** in, in, in hold my breath just right
That somehow makes me
happy, to see them like that

Stomach bloated
and covered in cat scratch scars
Don’t worry I promise
that’s all they are

Down to hips
jut, jut, jutting out through my underwear
Sharp enough to cut someone
who isn’t paying enough attention

Fat thighs,
the scars here spell words,
UGLY SL*T
no kitty cat wrote that

Scabby knees
bring up, up, up happier days
Memories of when falling down
wasn’t yet a metaphor

Prickly hairs
on pale legs stick out
A reminder of the way I’m staying home
and have no one to see and nothing to do

Now to my ankles
sprained one, two, three times in a year
Back when pain
was a more visible thing

And finally feet
actually the thing I hate least
About this body and this mind
so I guess that’s all, goodbye
I don’t like looking in the mirror, and I think that’s true for most girls my age. Maybe I’m wrong, but it just seems that most of us have so many insecurities that we just want to hide away and never talk about.
Phoenix-Rising
Written by
Phoenix-Rising  16/F
(16/F)   
117
 
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