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Apr 2020
I want to know why...

all I keep thinking about is how could you love me
so immensely;
so intensely;
so sensual;
so seductively;
so intimately
,
and yet all we are is
friends!?

I want to know how can you touch me
to where my bones shake and my flesh craves you, so much so that I'd be happy to take ya last name!?

Why kiss me and put your soul into everything you do to me?

 Your spirits on a  rampage and it ran through my body like a tornado mixed with a rumbling lustful hurricane!!

My eyes watch you and what your administrations , they see every thing and my silly fickled heart lurches forth as you enter in and out of me - pounding rhythmically like African drums as you make me ******;.  


while you're kissing me; ******* me - touching my very essence with your  fingers amongst other things.

 while you're all over me and yet all we are is friends!?


More than friends with benefits and I never offered that - so how'd we end up thusly hmmmm!?

I never offered to be a FWD
Because I know my heart's  toooo precious and my body and souls toooo delicate to attempt it,

I'd be defeated before we ever got this close & this far
yet here we are
Just the two of us - me and you.

You said let's take our time and see where things go, but as it's going -
it's flowing in a different way  that I've not expected- obviously with me as ya sacrificial lamb; spread out on a mouth watering platter .

Funny thing is I'm saying NO as  I allow you to lead me down your rabbit hole;  flipping me upside down in 69 positions  and then some

My tantric- karama sutra king.

You're causing havoc on my heart and my mind
******
you're sexually destroying my inner peace because you've got me  "a'****'ed"
yes there's a compromise to be had cuz my addiction for you differs from being
A'DICKED!!! 

 I'll explain: my body wants you; my heart craves your inner beauty;  my Honeywell desire all that you give, but my mind&soul longs for a commitment!  
Can you understand & see there's a difference?

I'm speaking from my spirit.

You got me caught up, wrapped up in your swirling embrace.
You're suicide
and
heart break  
but
I can't get enough & won't let go.

The weight of your body's pressed against me - down on me as your muscles stand tight and taunt leavinf me breathless
And it feels so right like yo. you're home to me but we're just
friends!?

The ways  you say my name has me delirious  and giddy.
I light up at the sound - everytime you moan it out, shivers go through me.

Ugh see that right there - that smile, don't do it.

I watch  how you touch every part of me, from
licking my toes ,
to kissing my lips,
from ******* on my fingers,
to moving my hips,
from dipping in and out
and out and in.

That's that **** that has me trapped & tripping all over THIS
friendship & myself
and I never want it to end.

Mmman oh man you really don't know, you be making me lose control of my senses& my ******* mind!!!

Tell me how?

Tell me why!?

Why would you do this to me?

Why would you allow yourself to open yourself up as you do and be so vulnerable with me;

beautifully so, I'm sure you know the effects you have on me;
it sends me to my knees .

Babe you're my walking waking dreamlike fantasies!

I'm worried,
scared
even to think of all the possibilities!

Yo you quench all my desires and solidified my dreams.
You've made almost everyone of them come true .

My cups spilling  to overflowing with your loving
Sadly not your
love

So
why you holding me so tight
so intimately and we're hugging and held up in ya house
like this!?
it's unrealistic
it'll turn explosive,
my worrying heart
says for me to stop
but
everything you do is effective & messy
yet fun which tells me maybe
I should run and never look back but didn't I tell you I'm addicted ("a'dicked").

Yo ya got that  charismatic persona,

ya shy-boyish smile drive me wild.

You're skillful I'll give you that, but why you play so hard to get when we already have what we have!?


You stroke the core of me to my spirit with your own,

As you lay deep inside me and love me down in every possible way;  you spoiled me and tamed me while letting me spoil you. Yet we're just friends huh.
So much so that ya ravish my body and you let me wreck havoc in your senses and drink in your essence.

You and I play &  tease, tasting one another but you refuse to open up to me.

I **** myself up every time you're near.
Playing this love making game with our wicked deed.  

Tell me why do you explore me like a new  toy with your mischief curiosity concurring me like a new undiscovered land
hmm & we're just friends huh!?

You have this ability to see right through me to see to the heart of me
the parts I hide and ya say I'm reserved meant only for a specific person must be you huh.

And yet you hold yourself aloft, ya hold yourself off; you keep yourself at a distant where I find myself trying to reel you in; ya not giving too much and I wonder why is that!?

How can I get around that wall,
how can I climb that fence,
how can I penetrate that space-  a place where few others have been
!?

I find it funny- sadistically so, yet  I find it downright obnoxious and wicked- that you do this to me and I have no one else to blame but myself because I can say no at any time and yet when you look at me with those beautiful hazel eyes I get weak;

I melt for you & melt into You!

I fall for you and I stumble-somehow you always catch me!

ahhhhhh

All I can do is ask you why?

Why do you
do this to me
!?

I'm trying so hard not to put my feelings into it; but every touch;  
every stroke;
every kiss;
every hug;
every bite and evey delicious pounding  
spins me right round back to you.

Ya massive member fills me up and I take it all even when I believe I cannot.

Look
look how good we fit
look how we mesh soul & flesh
...

I can't help it- this friendship is more than I've expected.

It seems you got me- naw I got me loosing control.

*** I don't know what to think or how to feel.

**** I'm loosing it,
I'm totally confused- is this Love or is this lust!?

All I need to know is Why.

*Why me?
© 2015-2077 by Ayeshah K.C.L.N.
All rights reserved.®
No part of this may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means,without prior written permission of Ayeshah K.C.L.N
Ayeshah
Written by
Ayeshah  F/I'M ILLUSIVELY"HERE"
(F/I'M ILLUSIVELY"HERE")   
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