Mar 2020
1966 -AND ALL THAT!
Asks me up for
a snifter...so she does!
"Don't mind if I do!"
I all cocky like.
Knowing I am in
for a bit of the other.
But when I get up
find she's a history buff.
The Battle of ****** Hastings
runs around her living room
in some boring Norman
cartoon in full colour.
Whoever did this
wasn't a very good drawer.
She does that trick of
removing her bra from her sleeve.
I love it when a bird does that.
"Glad to get out of that!" she smirks.
It lands on the bird cage.
The parrot goes nuts.
Opening skirmish methinks
in the battle of our wills.
OK I admit I'm a bit like Alfie.
Michael Caine but slightly fatter.
On the couch - her mini riding up.
Sneak an arm around a shoulder.
Getting bolder - place a palm
upon a fishnet thigh.
But she only wants to talk about
Harold and how he lost the battle.
My libido shattered.
"Hic **** Rex interfectus est!"
That famous feigned retreat
that led to the rout.
Was it feigned or not?
I couldn't give a ..!
And that was one in the eye
for that Harold geezer - or was it?
The Bayeux Tapestry
tells no lies or does it?
When is a tapestry not a tapestry?
When it's an embroidery.
She tells it as if it was
a close run thing.
"Like this year's FA Cup
when the Owls lose a two goal lead
and the Toffees beat them
3 goals to 2.
"Stand up if you won the war!"
One can imagine the chant.
I understand it when
she puts it like that.
And the geezers on the hillock?
Were they placed there before or
after the famous running away?
Her eyes brim with tears.
And it's this passion of hers
that draws me in.
That and the devil
in the details.
Like the ******* putting on
his chain mail the wrong way.
Or the Papal ring
with the tooth of St. Peter
hidden underneath its stone.
How do they get these things?
Or Haley's Comet streaking
across their skies.
"Isti mirantvr stellam"
she whispers to herself.
One can imagine a commentary on it,
"They think it's all over...well...it is now!"
But she still goes on and on
about it...refuses to let it go.
Finally she gives over
and gives in.
A one night stand.
I admit it.
But a one night stand that's
lasted 30 years now!
On our purple anniversary
I give it to her.
She thrilled
to bits.
Hill and Rumbles's
"The Defence of Wessex:
The Burghal Hidage &
Anglo-Saxon Fortifications."
She brings it to bed.
I do the washing up.
Put out a milk bottle
and the cat.
The cat sneaks
back in again.
I no longer looking like
Michael Caine.
"Isti mirantvr stellam."
I whisper to myself.
Asks me up for
a snifter...so she does!
"Don't mind if I do!"
I all cocky like.
Knowing I am in
for a bit of the other.
But when I get up
find she's a history buff.
The Battle of ****** Hastings
runs around her living room
in some boring Norman
cartoon in full colour.
Whoever did this
wasn't a very good drawer.
She does that trick of
removing her bra from her sleeve.
I love it when a bird does that.
"Glad to get out of that!" she smirks.
It lands on the bird cage.
The parrot goes nuts.
Opening skirmish methinks
in the battle of our wills.
OK I admit I'm a bit like Alfie.
Michael Caine but slightly fatter.
On the couch - her mini riding up.
Sneak an arm around a shoulder.
Getting bolder - place a palm
upon a fishnet thigh.
But she only wants to talk about
Harold and how he lost the battle.
My libido shattered.
"Hic **** Rex interfectus est!"
That famous feigned retreat
that led to the rout.
Was it feigned or not?
I couldn't give a ..!
And that was one in the eye
for that Harold geezer - or was it?
The Bayeux Tapestry
tells no lies or does it?
When is a tapestry not a tapestry?
When it's an embroidery.
She tells it as if it was
a close run thing.
"Like this year's FA Cup
when the Owls lose a two goal lead
and the Toffees beat them
3 goals to 2.
"Stand up if you won the war!"
One can imagine the chant.
I understand it when
she puts it like that.
And the geezers on the hillock?
Were they placed there before or
after the famous running away?
Her eyes brim with tears.
And it's this passion of hers
that draws me in.
That and the devil
in the details.
Like the ******* putting on
his chain mail the wrong way.
Or the Papal ring
with the tooth of St. Peter
hidden underneath its stone.
How do they get these things?
Or Haley's Comet streaking
across their skies.
"Isti mirantvr stellam"
she whispers to herself.
One can imagine a commentary on it,
"They think it's all over...well...it is now!"
But she still goes on and on
about it...refuses to let it go.
Finally she gives over
and gives in.
A one night stand.
I admit it.
But a one night stand that's
lasted 30 years now!
On our purple anniversary
I give it to her.
She thrilled
to bits.
Hill and Rumbles's
"The Defence of Wessex:
The Burghal Hidage &
Anglo-Saxon Fortifications."
She brings it to bed.
I do the washing up.
Put out a milk bottle
and the cat.
The cat sneaks
back in again.
I no longer looking like
Michael Caine.
"Isti mirantvr stellam."
I whisper to myself.
"Isti mirantvr stellam"( "These marvel at the star.")
In the Anglo-Saxon Chronicle. Eilmer of Malmesbury may have seen Halley previously in 989, as he wrote of it in 1066:
"You've come, have you? ... You've come, you source of tears to many mothers, you evil. I hate you! It is long since I saw you; but as I see you now you are much more terrible, for I see you brandishing the downfall of my country. I hate you!"
"Hic Harold rex interfectus est!"( "Here King Harold has been killed." )
One can guess what had been killed in our protagonist's trousers...the King of his anatomy laid low with all this talk of history.
The Toffees or Everton got to the final by not conceding a single goal but alas went 2 nill down to the Owls or Sheffield Wednesday. But made an amazing comeback and won the FA Cup of 1966 by three goals to two.
"Stand up if you won the war!" was the chant of the English only a few weeks later won the World Cup by beating Germany 4-2.
In the Anglo-Saxon Chronicle. Eilmer of Malmesbury may have seen Halley previously in 989, as he wrote of it in 1066:
"You've come, have you? ... You've come, you source of tears to many mothers, you evil. I hate you! It is long since I saw you; but as I see you now you are much more terrible, for I see you brandishing the downfall of my country. I hate you!"
"Hic Harold rex interfectus est!"( "Here King Harold has been killed." )
One can guess what had been killed in our protagonist's trousers...the King of his anatomy laid low with all this talk of history.
The Toffees or Everton got to the final by not conceding a single goal but alas went 2 nill down to the Owls or Sheffield Wednesday. But made an amazing comeback and won the FA Cup of 1966 by three goals to two.
"Stand up if you won the war!" was the chant of the English only a few weeks later won the World Cup by beating Germany 4-2.
(Guildford)
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