I'm looking for artisanal language. Prose with a maker's mark. Words that contain perfect imperfections, evidence that a person first touched these letters and then my heart. I need a personal touch to color the paragraphs that fill these pages. I wanna see the hands that craft a stanza in the body of the text. I want something real and alive. I want these words to burn with the incurable human spark. I'm on a quest to look at the tome and see the beating heart of the man.
I once read a note you left on the fridge and I could read in your word choice the shape of your smile. My god! I would read volumes of your missives left throughout our life on CVS receipts. They contain a warmth that I can feel even in memory of them. I don't know if it is talent or magic or love. Or all of the above. My words...I guess, I fear that they're hollow.
Do they reach you through space? Is my pen alight with intelligence? Does my writings evidence my soul? I don't know that they do. Certainly they do not seem to. I've tried different theory, different pens. I've written sonnets and songs with this and also the other hand. The results are robotic. Bland.
I want to explain you, my love... I don't have the words.