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Mar 15
there are some songs
that feel like i'm ripping my own heart out
with my bare hands
dripping and ******
breaking, still beating

i keep them in a playlist
called "too painful"
for the times i need to know
my heart still works
even if it means
ripping it open again
scarred and healing
hurting, still working

in the same way
i've been keeping the texts you send me
in the back of my mind
with our old memories
raw and painful
fading, still fresh

but i wish i could pick
when to press play
at the moment i am ready
to read them, hear from you
but you send them
when i am hurting most
at the time
they would do the most damage
late and selfish
bleeding, still hopeful

i never intended to press play
but you did it for me
so i break
even now you are selfish in the way that makes you feel good about yourself
milkweedangel
Written by
milkweedangel  20/F/the forest
(20/F/the forest)   
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